Someone shoot me…

…is something I say ironically during the day.

But today I asked myself: is it actually ironic?

[TW mentions of suicide]

This is probably going to be a much shorter post than last time, because I don’t really have that much to develop on.

All I know is I am tired. So tired. I’m exhausted. Of everything. I don’t want to do anything.

But at the same time, I want to do lots of things: I want to write, I want to draw, I want to voice act, I want to video edit, I want to play the guitar, I want to play the violin, I want to do so much but I don’t have time. And then when I do have the time, I don’t have the energy.

It’s pretty bullshit.

Today was a particularly shitty day at school: two hours of French, two hours of Maths crap that I can’t get my head around, an hour of German in which I spent 40 minutes getting the fucking computer to work, another hour of Maths and then two hours of History.

And at least 5 times today I caught myself mumbling “Someone fucking shoot me.”

At first, it was just as a self-deprecating joke like I usually do. Good ol’ dark humour.

But slowly as the day went on, my motivation started to die, my energy started to fade, and my will to continue started to slowly but steadily disappear entirely.

I hate it.

I hate this.

I hate school.

I hate it all.

I’m so tired. Please just let me rest.

Thanks for reading this whole thing ‚ô•

Sidenote: Before you call a professional for help, don’t worry, I’m not suicidal. Just tired and pissed off x)

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